actual excuse notes by funnyabsentnotes.com

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We want to house the largest number of funny absent notes. They are hard to find and with so many teachers out there, we are sure there are some real doozies. They are so hard to find. Reading them is clean, innocent fun. Why do we want them all? We won't win some sort of absent note prize, we just think they are funny and we want to see them as much as you do.

We hope you enjoy the list we have and it will grow as people add to them.

The absent notes

michelle will not be
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Please excuse my daughter´s absence. She had her periodicals.
My son is under a doctor´s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Sally won´t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don´t know what size she wear.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Raul from school yesterday. He had a stomach egg.
Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn´t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Please excuse Roland from PE for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.